Summer Update

Sabrea is now 6 years old, and going into First Grade. As always, the child is excited for some change, but I know she'll soon think school is boring, that she has no friends, etc. She's spending 3 weeks with Daddy, so I can catch up. She needs to learn Self Control, and how to tie her shoes. She's still a ball of energy, but very sympathetic when someone is hurting or sad. She still offers her blankie to those that need it. She loves her animals, and is always looking for a new pet.

I'm dealing with severe back pain caused by Degenerative Disc Disorder and Lumbar Facet Syndrome. I have back surgery on August 4 to burn the nerves that are causing me problems. I can't work. I have to be very careful what I do so I don't aggravate my back. Most of the time, I do wind up in pain. It hurts to walk, sit, stand. Hopefully the surgery will "cure" the problem temporarily. Nothing will ever completely fix my back. It will get worse. I've accepted that.

Snoball is still going strong. There's been a few minor fixes along the way, but she's a good car and gets good gas mileage. I'm can't complain.

Jetta is 8 years old now, and doing well. She seems skinnier than normal, but it's summer, and that's just how she is.

Midnight is now 3 years old, and is still a BIG cat. He's 23 pounds. Most of it is muscle. He's huge. He doesn't like Sabrea running around, so he tackles her (with soft paws). Usually Sabrea can stay on her feet, but sometimes they both just fall down. lol.

Overall, everyone is doing just fine. I'm not allowed to do foster care because my water temperature is too hot, and the landlord refused to turn it down, but it is okay. With my back, I wouldn't be able to consistently pick up and care for babies anyway. We make do with what we have, and most times, things are peaceful.

Update: Flipped Upside Down...then Accepted

Sabrea is doing well, and starting Kindergarten in one week! *sniff, sniff* I'm excited. It's a new chapter in her life, and I know she'll succeed wonderfully. It will be a challenge getting her into a schedule and routine, but we'll work on that. From 7:44 a.m. to 3:47 p.m., I will be free! Maybe I can keep my house clean now! lol.

I'm in the process of getting licensed to do foster care. It's a hurry up and wait type of game. I have tackled most of the trainings, filled out all the stacks of paperwork, did my fingerprinting, and everything. I just need to set up a home visit. Then the fire marshal has to inspect, and a few more orientations. I was warned that due to my Section 8 status, it might be a while before I get a placement. I'm okay with that. I will have the license and be able to help children. I CAN make a difference in the world...even if it's just in one child (other than Sabrea).

I recently went through a difficult situation and came out with some lessons:

• Sabrea has an amazing perspective on very difficult issues. She can make anything seem black and white, cut and dry, simple. She has amazing empathy, with very little fear in yelling and angry situations.
• There's a million versions to one story, and sometimes you just aren't meant to know the truth.
• Truth can be distorted by the lens of the person talking. It's not always intentional, but it happens. 
• Being flexible in just one area of life doesn't really work. 
• Go with the flow and ACCEPT changes and snags. 
• Life is full of "plot twists."
• I still hate change. :)
• I need to blog more, even if no one reads it. Someone out there will find it when they need it!

Ramblings and Mommy Vacations

I am officially divorced as of July 23rd. My name has officially been changed back to my maiden name. I'm just waiting for the medical card, and the driver's license now. I've been single for the last year. I enjoy being by myself, but I still miss cuddling. I still dream about a man riding up on a black stallion with a white rose to sweep me off my feet. Yeah, yeah, I've been reading too many romance novels. lol.

Sabrea has been spending the 1st through the 15th of June, July, and August with her daddy. I like these mommy vacations. It gives me a chance to do what I want, without a little tag-team partner. I love my kid, but I can get SO much done when she's with her daddy, and SO much faster! These vacations give me a chance to reset myself. Sabrea gets time with her daddy, and daddy gets to be a dad. I miss her when she's gone, but it makes it much sweeter when she comes home.

I'm not working right now. I am getting child support payments that cover my bills and keep us afloat. I did work at Quizno's for a week. The pain in my back nearly made me throw up from only 4 hours of working. A desk job HAS to be the option for me. My back has been increasingly more painful as the days go on. The chiropractor only helps so much. I have a check-up/physical in a couple weeks, so we'll work out a game plan then.

I put together a 500 piece puzzle in a stretch of a few days. I put the first coat of glue on tonight. It's a beautiful Indian maiden with a dreamcatcher, wolves in the clouds, and a waterfall in the background. Bonus: It glows in the dark! I'm pretty proud of that. :)

UPDATE

I recently got a job through Preference Personnel. While it has nothing to do with either of my degrees, it pays well and its something I can progress with. There's plenty of room for advancement, and the work isn't that difficult. I'm troubleshooting McDonald's computers with a firm in town here. I finally have the routine, and get paid for it! It was an intense 3 weeks of training, but I feel that it's paying off.

Sabrea is still potty training. We're almost out of diapers, and not going to get any more. We'll see how this progresses. She's been staying dry during the day, and usually most of the night. Every night she stays dry she gets a "tattoon" (temporary tattoo). For all the moms out there, this has worked WONDERS with Sabrea. She is SO proud of her tattoons. Thanks goes to Grandma JoAnn too for giving her a paint book with 100+ tattoons! It's a circus theme, and she loves the clowns. The animals are a close second.

That's mainly what's been going on in my life. I still have the religious debaucle, but it is what it is. I've gotten into reading again--Harlequin romances. :) It's a nice little escape for me. It feels good to be in a routine, even if for the past day and a half I have had the flu.

Tomorrow's pay day, and I'm finally going to break down and get a cell phone!

Just a Note...

My friends and I visited a graveyard recently, and the creative writing bug bit me. I don't mean to focus on the not-living, or morbid thoughts...it's just what popped into my head, and I HAD to write it down.

I do see, hear, and can talk to spirits in graveyards, and one of the stories is true. I'll leave it up to my readers to pick which one you think actually happened. I really enjoyed writing both of them, and it felt good to be writing for fun again. I'm glad to share these.

You're Never Alone in a Graveyard (Part Two)

A soldier sits under a tree planted near his headstone. Leaves and grass clippings litter the white sandstone. He writes on a piece of paper with a small, peaceful smile on his face. His uniform is as crisp and clean as the first day he put it on. A medal on his chest catches the sun and sends a beam of light into the sky.

I walk over silently and brush away the leaves and debris. "Thank you for your service," I whisper. I gently trace the letters on the stone. Tears come to my eyes. This soldier was a stranger to me, but was someone's son.

The soldier stood behind me and put a hand on my back "Your brother still loves you," he whispers.

I turn and look into the bluest eyes I had ever seen. "Do you have a message for someone?"

"I already delivered it," he stated with a smile. He disappeared without a trace.

(c) Jacqueline Weerts, March 23, 2012

You're Never Alone in a Graveyard (Part One)

Spirit children dance under the evergreen trees. Their dresses float in the air. Blonde and brown hair bounce out of their bows. Giggles fill the air. A child walks up to me, "Will you play with me?" Brown eyes plead.

"I can't right now," I whisper.

The child goes back to the games and dancing, unaware he had just talked to the living. I smile at the carefree children. Their pain and suffering are over. Some lives were cut short and not fully lived. They are at peace now and can play forever. It never rains. The sun always shines. There is always someone to play with. You're never alone in a graveyard.

(c) Jacqueline Weerts, March 23, 2012